In my quiet time today, God was dealing with me about the pursuit of a dream. He's been doing that a lot lately, seems to be the theme of 2015. I found myself coming up with all kinds of excuses, reasons why I can't do it, at least, not right now. They were well thought out, valid and legitimate excuses. As I completed my list and finished explaining-- more like justifying-- how each one of them is preventing me from moving forward, my quiet time got a little quieter; and I heard the Holy Spirit speak ever so clearly, "You are selfish." Immediately, I responded with, "Seriously, are You kidding me? Do You even know me at all?" To that He responded, "I know you best."
Feeling a bit like a child reprimanded for ill behavior and sent to the thinking spot, I began to evaluate my list-- lack of time, lack of finances, lack of confidence... My conclusion is that He is, just as He always is, absolutely right. Every excuse I own is rooted in fear, and fear IS selfish. Fear is the result of being so self-focused that it denies my ability to believe in Something, in SomeOne greater than myself. Fear is simply refusing/denying/stamping out faith. And faith happens when I take my selfish thoughts out of the equation, forget about all of my fears, all of my excuses, and become God-focused. It is then, and only then, that the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen is established.
Thankful today for a Heavenly Father Who does know me best, Who places dreams in my heart, and Who continues to mold me and shape me into the me He created me to be. I've never loved Him more.
