A few years ago, I read a book and fell in love with a little girl named Jessica and with a grouchy old man who became her hero. I couldn't wait to read the second book. I knew it wouldn't take me long to devour the pages and then pass the book to a friend who was just as enthusiastic about this new find as I was. However, in the midst of reading the continuation of this beautiful story, my heart nearly stopped beating as I discovered the most wicked villain being offered the gift of grace. This book that I was certain I would read in one evening, I slammed shut and tossed across the room unfinished.
I thought about the contents of that story for hours. When I went to bed that night, I thought about it, and I woke up thinking about it. The next day as I was driving to work and home again, I continued to ponder the disappointment I had discovered in this book; then I began to wonder why this bothered me as it had.
Grace. I have no problem extending it to the ones that I love the most, and I have no problem seeing those that I love accepting it. I love hearing others testify about grace, how it transformed their lives. I talk about it often, and I am ever-so-grateful for the grace that I've been given, that from God and that from others.
But some people just don't deserve it. Like this terribly vicious character in the unfinished book, certain sins are not grace-worthy. They just aren't. People who wound the ones I love -- not grace-worthy. People who hurt defenseless children -- not grace-worthy. People who selfishly deceive and destroy others -- not grace-worthy. People who abuse and neglect the elderly -- not grace-worthy. People who lack compassion and empathy -- not grace-worthy. People who continue to make the same stupid choices over and over and over again -- not grace-worthy.
Grace should be reserved for people who deserve it, for people who earn it. Grace should be only granted to those who try, sincerely try to be good and obedient. It should be only given to those who are keepers of the law, those who keep failures to a minimum of ____(insert a "fair" number here).
And if grace were reserved for only those who deserve it, where would I be? What about you? Where would you be? Have any of us done anything to earn grace lately? Ever? Perhaps it's a good thing I wasn't on the committee to establish "The Guidelines of Grace" for mankind.
A few days later, I picked up the book and finished the story. Truthfully, I wasn't thrilled with the ending. This evil character did not deserve a happy ending, and it still annoys me when I think about it. (I certainly never read that book a second time.) However, in reading this frustrating book, the Holy Spirit taught me an unforgettable lesson about grace, a lesson that I thought I had learned years and years ago.
The beauty of grace is that it is free. Absolutely free. It isn't withheld because of the size of my sin, the number of my failures, the ugliness of my heart. The gift of grace isn't based on anything that I've done or promise to do for the rest of my days. Grace doesn't require me to be grace-worthy. Grace is the extension of the Creator's hand that lifts me out of the filth, pulls me from the darkness, and up to a higher, brighter place. And when I stumble and fall, grace does the same thing all over again.
When I'm living in grace, life is glorious. Incomparable. Oh-so-beautiful. Awesome.
And when I'm living in pride, I think grace should be reserved for those who deserve it. Is there any sin uglier than pride?
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